Sarah Asked: How do I know he is right?

I have been dating this guy for 2 1/2 years and I am so lost on how I feel about my relationship. Right now I feel completely miserable.. I have been crying for two days straight, not because we broke up, but because he recently went to Vegas to cheer one of his friends up. And I am really hurt by that decisions because I am only given 2 out of 12 months with him because we go to different colleges and he took off a week to go see the guy he is rooming w/ for a whole year. But I can't help having the feeling of still wanting to text him I love you good morning. I want to tell him about the dream I had.. But the other side of me is too scared to let go of the hurt. I am at a crossroad of how I feel because on one hand I am constantly upset at him for something, and a lot of time that has to do with my depression, but sometimes it is just the little things he does that ticks me off, like running of f to Vegas. When I think about our future together, that just upsets me too, because on one side I can see him in this perfect life with me because we both want the same things, but on the other hand I know that side won't happen for awhilebecause he is contracted with the military for 12 years. Our relationship has gone through basically everything, holding the other while they cry because of a bad day, death, bad news, surgery, anything, being there and still standing when stuff got rough, but also really hurtful things like I cheated on him, and he bashed me in a text message to this girl to keep her interested in him, and even going 4 months without talking because we were so mad at each other. But despite all that, we forgave one another because we know the other person is human, talked it out and set guild-lines and over all came out stronger because of it. There is a lot of times where I am with him and I just constantly think how it doesn't feel right and how I am just going to break up with him… But The thought of breaking up with him just puts a knot in my stomach. I can't actually think about life without him because it almost feels like there would be a black hole in the universe. And then I ration the reasons why I should break up with him, and all I can think about is how I feel hurt by him and how my head says it isn't right, but then I think about everything all the little things like him coming over after I had surgery the first week of our relationship bringing me a little gift everyday to make me feel better, sat with me all day as I slept even though I hadn't showered for two weeks and told me I looked beautiful everyday. Or making me dinosaur chicken nuggets and ice cream with a big lily in it randomly, after whispering tome "I cherish you" or the times where he opens the door for me, kisses my forehead, or tells me I am the most beautifulwoman even when Megan Fox is the screen. Or when we are sitting there he will do dumb things with me that makes me smile and giggle and those times I forget everything except him, hell he will even play the dorkest game with me, Pirates, because he knows it makes me happy. He is such a great guy, and when I don't put any thought into the situation, everything is fine, but when I think about things why am I never content with what we are doing, what he is doing, and most importantly why I am constantly thinking he is not right…